Dealing With Problems
Ashley Stops Cutting
Embedded Files
This is a success story.
It's one of many.
I have not yet seen a failure in many dozens of situations where people are experiencing ongoing trauma from incidents which have occurred, sometimes decades earlier. I won't take credit for that - I ask questions of the person needing assistance, give them a simple sentence or three to say, and God does the rest.
This story, which is transcribed from WhatsApp texting, includes details of horrendous, ongoing physical abuse by a stepfather upon a teenage stepdaughter which you might find distressing or triggering. If that occurs, email me using the link below, with the subject line: Please help. Otherwise, you can use the simple release tools given in this article and in other places on this site to see yourself set free.
As far as I can tell, you don't even need to be a Christian to get help from God. I know of at least 3 followers of Islam who have been set free by the Living God in this way.
As far as I can tell, you don't even need to robustly believe in God, because God believes in you.
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Cancelling Out Abuse > Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Spiritual
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts
Ashley Stops Cutting (This page)
Breaking Free from > Resentment & Hatred
Was His Serious UTI Connected?
Breaking Free from Controlling Sexuality
Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships
Explanation of some expressions and concepts used in this article can be found at the bottom of the page. Clicking the link above will open Explanations in a new window, allowing you to swap from one to the other.
Abuse Victim Stops Cutting, and More!
Abuse Victim Stops Cutting, and More!
Note: In transcribing text messages I occasionally join several together to avoid displaying delays due to poor internet reception, while maintaining the factual accuracy of the conversations. If I add something for context or as explanation in this article during the course of a text exchange it shows up as (italic type) inside round brackets.
ASHLEY (not her real name) is a university student and was struggling to pay rent and tuition.
October 15 - When she contacted me on WhatsApp it was, at first, a simple story:
As with everyone I asked her to place her phone somewhere that she could still read it without holding it while standing up. Then I asked her to do these things:
Hold out her hands before God, at waist height, palms up and open to receive.
As she did so, I told her, she would feel something happening on her hands - I call it “God’s handshake.”
As she did this she was not to pray with her mind or her lips, since this is a type of prayer, anyway, that does not require verbal input
(see Lamentations 3:41 in Young’s Literal Translation or the Amplified Bible prior to 1987) and we can only pray in one way at a time.
After thirty seconds or so I asked her:
Trevor > What can you feel on your hands?
ASHLEY: I feel some coldness.
(That is typically a spirit manifestation, related to the problem.)
Trevor > That is Fear and Torment - look at your hands and say with a normal voice, “Fear and Torment, get out now.”
(Ten seconds later I asked her what was happening. At the same time I re-read the command I had given her and realised that, in my haste, I had not checked the text before I sent it - I had swiped ‘Great’ instead of ‘Fear’.)
ASHLEY: My hands are getting warm, but they are shaking.
(Shaking is another spirit manifestation. Because the command was partly wrong the spirit manifestation changed as the remaining spirit came to the fore.)
Trevor > I edited the command - please say it again correctly as now written. Warm is good, equals healing from God.
What’s happening?
ASHLEY: My hands are warm now they have stopped shaking. The more I say the command the more I feel relieved.
Trevor > Don’t keep saying it, though. Three times is enough.
(At the beginning of the year I had loaned ASHLEY $50 to help with a financial emergency at university. She was expecting a scholarship to come through, but it didn’t, and her solemn promises to repay had not been performed. That’s not a big problem for me, but it’s a major problem for anyone who does not keep their word - the enemy are thereby empowered to cause losses up to three times the value of the broken promise, or anything else that God permits. See 1 Corinthians 10:13 for the basic protection under which we function. I had forgiven the loan but this girl now needed to do something to cancel out the issue for her future well-being.)
Trevor > Now say, “I’m sorry I asked Trevor to lend me money when I could not repay the loan. That was wrong, I should not have done that, I won’t do that again.”
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > Have you done that? It’s not for me, I have forgiven the loan issue, but the enemy hadn’t. Now they have. What’s happening on your hands now?
ASHLEY: They are relaxed…at first they were heavy.
(Heavy hands are a sign that the person is carrying a burden. It’s funny that everyone has these responses without ever having been told what to expect.)
Trevor > I had a feeling that you would have financial problems because you were so definite that you could repay when I was pretty certain that you wouldn't. Making promises we cannot keep is what keeps (people) in poverty. Do you understand now?
ASHLEY: Yes I understand now
Trevor > Now things will start to improve financially for you. This lesson applies to any mistake you make - you must genuinely say sorry before God as I have now shown you for anything wrong you do, otherwise the enemy get to penalise you up to three times worse than the offence.
Do you get the idea?
ASHLEY: Yes I get it and am so sorry to God and to you too please forgive me
Trevor > There is no need to ever ask forgiveness of anyone. Saying sorry is much more effective.
When you ask someone to forgive you (I had done that months ago) you are again asking that person to give you something... got the idea?
If they don't forgive when you (genuinely) say sorry that is their problem, not yours. :-)
But just don't ask for forgiveness, not even from God. God always forgives immediately
(If someone offends against us we must, like God, forgive them immediately whether they are apologetic or not. If we hold onto offence we then become subject to serious physical, emotional and spiritual attacks from the enemy.
In the end it is not the actual trauma which causes problems for victims, but holding onto the offence. In this article and on this site we show how to release offence.)
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > Please keep in touch and tell me how things are going with you.
Five weeks later - November 25 - Ashley contacted me about another problem.
Trevor > About money?
ASHLEY: About Life
Trevor > There are other issues for you apart from money?
ASHLEY: Trauma from childhood
Trevor > There are ways to deal with that
ASHLEY: How
Trevor > You talk about it with me if you can, whatever you can. I ask questions and you respond as best you can.
Then, at a certain point when I think I have enough to go on we do something different - I get you to say/speak some things.
It's not counselling, it's a type of therapy, I guess, that has always worked in the last ten years. People have been set free from all sorts of physical and emotional conditions, including the after-affects of multiple rapes, being beaten and raped, and more.
People have been set free from all sorts of things. Sometimes/mostly it's on the spot. Sometimes it might take a few weeks.
God does it.
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > What was the trauma, can you tell me?
ASHLEY: My stepdad used to beat me very bad…he used to chase me out of the house too. I used to sleep on the street.
Trevor > How old were you? How long did this go on?
ASHLEY: From 12 to 17
Trevor > I’m sorry that this happened. That’s terrible.
ASHLEY: Yea very terrible. I don’t know my Biological dad. But then my mum left my step dad because of his behaviour of chasing me at night.
Trevor > Did your mother get involved in any way to help you?
ASHLEY: She just used to tell me to be strong…that everything will be good
Trevor > Wrong
ASHLEY: But in the end it never changed so mum decided to walk away from the man
Trevor > Was there sexual abuse, or attempted sexual abuse?
ASHLEY: No…he tried to stab me twice with a knife
Trevor > Why - was he drinking? Did he say why he wanted to harm you?
ASHLEY: Because he hated me…sometimes he used to drink but not that often
Trevor > Did you like him at first, or did you always feel badly towards him?
ASHLEY: I have never liked him
Trevor > And people pick up on that, but that is no reason to ever harm or threaten or intimidate a child. What about your siblings?
ASHLEY: He never did those things to them…but I remember one day he chased all of us and we slept in the tea plantation.
Trevor > After he was drinking?
ASHLEY: Even if he was sober
Trevor > Wow, that’s tough, for you and for them. How are you feeling right now, talking about it?
ASHLEY: I feel very bad.
Trevor > You are doing well to be able to talk about it. We will get to the good stuff shortly.
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > Are you angry, afraid, or just feeling bad in and for yourself? Is there any other feeling that’s there right now?
ASHLEY: I feel afraid and bad
Trevor > Let’s deal with that first, right now.
(I issued the same instructions as before, to stand and hold out her hands at waist height, palms up and open to receive, without praying. I waited for ten seconds or so.)
Ashley, what’s happening, what can you feel?
ASHLEY: I feel cold in my hands and they are shaking
Trevor > That’s fear - say this, “No fear, Fear, get out!”
What’s happening?
ASHLEY: My hands have slowly stopped shaking
Trevor > What about the coldness?
ASHLEY: I now feel some warmness in my hands
Trevor > Say this, “No terror, no anxiety. Terror and Anxiety, get out now!”
Warmth is healing, God is healing you right now.
ASHLEY: I feel like my heart is at peace after saying that.
Trevor > Say this, “I’m sorry that I was abused and terrified. Thank you, Jesus, for setting me free.”
ASHLEY: I now feel relieved
Trevor > Some of those feelings might come back from time to time. Use the same processes to deal with them.
The enemy try to get us thinking about the past to make us sad and depressed, and so we have to replace those thoughts with something positive.
What were some positive outcomes from your terrible four years - think about it?
ASHLEY: Those years were the darkest moments of my life. I remember I (tried to) commit suicide. Then these days I always cut my hand when I feel anxious to feel better.
Trevor > Suicide/despair and cutting go together. Our lives belong to God so the enemy try to get us to end our lives so that we miss out on the good things God has in store for us
ASHLEY: Now I know better
Trevor > Would you like God to deal with the suicide/cutting situation now?
ASHLEY: Yea
Trevor > Stand and hold out your hands again, and say this:
“Papa God, I’m sorry that I ever considered that taking my life was a valid option. I now know my life belongs to You, and that You have good things ahead for me.”
Then:
“Death, you have no part in me. Death, Suicide and Destruction, get out now and don’t come back!”
What’s happening - what can you feel?
ASHLEY: I feel like (I) am relieved, it’s like a big burden has been removed from me
Trevor > You’re right, it has been. But there’s more - are you ok to go on? It’s after midnight.
ASHLEY: Yess
Trevor > What was the man’s first name, and how did you refer to him then? To his face, and behind his back?
ASHLEY: His name is Michael (name changed) and I used to call him dad
Trevor > This is a terrible situation that you were placed in. Is it possible that you felt badly about him early on, and that he picked up on that?
ASHLEY: Yea. I never showed him that I hated him
Trevor > No matter how you felt about him, there is no excuse for him to treat you like that, but in healing ourselves we take responsibility for the mistakes that we make along the way.
Are you afraid of him right now?
ASHLEY: I was but now I feel like I am not afraid of him anymore
Trevor > That’s what I was hoping had changed. Just tonight?
ASHLEY: For real am not afraid of him anymore
Trevor > We will solve the problems so that you can see the blessings that have come out.
1. You actually are a stronger person than you were
2. You know that you have to be very careful to choose a mate
3. You are not afraid of this man anymore
We will come back to him in a minute. What about your mothert - how is your relationship with her?
ASHLEY: It’s good she’s like my best friend
Trevor > Were you ever annoyed with her, or did you lose respect for her and her choices?
Did you blame her for Michael’s bad behaviour being inflicted on you?
ASHLEY: Yea I used to ask her why did she marry that man
Trevor > Ok, here’s the next part.
Stand and hold out your hands again and tell me what you can feel
ASHLEY: I feel some coldness in my palm
Trevor > Is it like air circling around?
ASHLEY: Yea
Trevor > That’s Holy Spirit, breath of God.
Turn and face the position/place that you think Michael might be, or if it's easier, face the area where the offences took place, and say this as if you are speaking to him in front of you:
"Michael, I'm sorry that I did not show respect and honour to you as my stepfather. I owed you that because you were married to my mother.
Michael, I no longer am afraid of you. Father God, bless him and show him Your love."
ASHLEY: I feel relieved and free
(I like it when someone is so moved or touched by God that they tell me without my asking!)
Trevor > “Michael, you can no longer harm me physically, emotionally or spiritually.”
If ever unpleasant thoughts about him rise up immediately ask God to touch him with love. Don’t allow the unpleasant thoughts to continue.
ASHLEY: Okay Trevor
Trevor > Most people who have been through trauma like you don't deal with it correctly and end up making the same mistakes themselves. We are establishing new ground for you to walk on.
January 18 - Two months later Ashley came back with another problem:
ASHLEY: I also tried to commit suicide twice that period
But when we started praying with you everything changed.
(I never pray with people. Ashley is referring to what I call “doing ministry like Jesus,” where we address the problem directly, and speak to it like the Master taught us. Prayer is asking God to take care of the problem, but Jesus demonstrated another way and invited us to use His same techniques. See John 14:12)
Trevor > Why did you think that was a good idea?
ASHLEY: Yes I felt like those strange things were the right ones for me
Trevor > So that is how temptation (which only ever comes from the enemy) works.
Temptation is a subtle, (negative) thought that is placed in our head/mind in such a way that we think it is coming from our own, rational thinking, but it’s not.
ASHLEY: So if such temptations come in someone’s mind what should she/he do to overcome them?
Trevor > Temptation is a subtle (negative) thought that seems like it could be good, but deep down, especially at the beginning, we know it is evil.
If we hold onto that thought for even a moment or two it starts to look more and more like a viable option.
Instead, suicide is designed to rob good and productive people from the very worthwhile future that God has laid up for them.
We have to avoid negativity and forcibly turn it around into positive thinking:
God has a plan for me;
Jesus said things in this life would be tough;
But He added that God would have a way through;
I can do anything that God sets before me;
God only has good for me.
And so on.
ASHLEY: Yes this is indeed good
Trevor > And there's more.
So why did you cut yourself?
ASHLEY: To feel relaxed. Even if I cut myself I couldn’t feel any (emotional) pain
Trevor > It’s a fake illusion. The enemy persuade people to cut because the suggestion is that physical pain overrides the mental anguish they experience, but it doesn’t actually deal with the mental pain and its causes.
ASHLEY: Ooh now I get it
(For context, the following information came from a conversation 3 weeks later.)
Trevor > Do you remember where you got the idea to cut yourself?
ASHLEY: It just came in my mind that the way to relieve the pain you are feeling is to add yourself more pain. That's when I started cutting myself.
Trevor > That's amazing, that's remarkable, actually, that people all over the world these days get that idea when they are still suffering from trauma.
(This is the way temptation works. It is applied to our minds from an external, malevolent spiritual source in such a way that it seems like it is coming from our own, internal rational thinking. It is not. This idea does not remove culpability from any following wrong actions - it just identifies the confusing source. We are meant to push back, resist, any temptation that comes to us.)
Is there any chance you heard of people doing that, or read about it somewhere?
ASHLEY: Honestly I have not heard it from anywhere. What I have heard (about) is people committing suicide
(Back to January 18)
Trevor > So now we look at the mental pain - what was it, and what was triggering it?
Often abuse, physical, sexual, verbal or in some other form is the underlying cause or trigger, because it was never dealt with properly, neither at the time, nor later.
However, it can also be something else, or triggered by something else, such as a sense of failure.
Abuse also considers the idea that someone in a greater position, either physically, emotionally, or authority-wise, has harmed you in one of those ways.
It could be a teacher, a friend, someone older or stronger, someone your respected or cared for, who took advantage of you in some way.
ASHLEY: It was my childhood Trauma..The Physical abuse from my stepdad, Finding out he wasn't my real dad, how I used to sleep in the street, How one day a hospital gateman almost took advantage of me when I asked for a place to sleep in the hospital, How I never received love while growing up... sometimes all fights in my mind and makes me overwhelmed
Trevor > Abuse is also identifiable when someone does something bad and says, " Don't tell anyone about this."
ASHLEY: Also when I was young like 13 years my stepdad's uncle used to harass me in the name of showing me homework... touching me...I even never told my mom.
Trevor > And you felt shame, and what else with that?
ASHLEY: I felt bad and scared because he could touch my hands, hips and breast.
Trevor > And did you feel powerless to stop him?
ASHLEY: Yes because I didn’t have any say in that family. I used to live in fear
Trevor > Did he live with you?
ASHLEY: No he used to come to our house
Trevor > And why do you think you didn't tell your mother?
ASHLEY: Because she could have told my stepdad and the stepdad could have beat me and chase me away
Trevor > Wow, that's so sad, I'm sorry that happened to you
ASHLEY: It’s Okay
Trevor > Anything else?
ASHLEY: He could cane my hands and if I removed them even once from being caned he could burn me with a nylon paper on my legs
Trevor > When we last dealt with things - your stepdad in particular - you said that you were no longer afraid of him after the ministry. Is that right?
ASHLEY: Yea am now am not afraid of him at all I just hate him so much
My right hand has never been fully healed I always feel pain when I carry something or write something for long he is the one who once hit me at the same place over and over
Trevor > We can deal with that, the pain in your hand. God will take it away and your hand will be healed
ASHLEY: Okay Trevor
Trevor > Does hating him help, do you think?
ASHLEY: No it doesn't help
Trevor > I think that is number 1, because hatred leads to murder, and is equal to murder on Judgment Day, and (in) enemy terrorism terms.
The fact that you hate him, which is just a response to an enemy temptation, gives them great power over you. His hatred has passed on to you.
Did he drink?
ASHLEY: No he didn't drink
Trevor > Did he lock you out of the house, or did you just run away, hoping that you would find help in some way, perhaps from your mum?
ASHLEY: He used to lock me out of the house
Trevor > That should have never happened, either. I think we worked out last time that he picked up, either from your attitude or your words, that you didn't like him. Is that right?
ASHLEY: Yes it's right
Trevor > That still doesn't give him the right to abuse you. He will suffer terribly on Judgment Day for what he did, if he doesn't suffer now.
ASHLEY: You're right Trevor
Trevor > Hatred is the opposite of love and causes all manner of sicknesses to manifest over time, especially when we are older.
The chances are that he was just doing to you what his father did to him. This stuff is passed on in this way unless we break the chain.
ASHLEY: Does it come to someone even if you're not their real daughter?
Trevor > Unless we deal correctly with what is done to us we tend to make the same mistakes.
For example, I reckon that some of your school friends are already single mothers, or if not, you know a few of them from your home area, even older women.
ASHLEY: Oooh I get it now well Trevor
Trevor > Over time we will work together so that you can avoid the boy-trap and make good choices, for you, your (future) husband who will stay and be good, and your children
ASHLEY: That will be good and it will really help me make good choices.
Trevor > So, knowing a little about your stepdad, how can you change your thinking about him to get rid of hatred?
ASHLEY: By not thinking and forgetting about him... also forgiving him from my heart
Trevor > When someone treats us badly what should we do?
We can't forget it or just not think about it, since that's like trying to forget about a splinter in our finger or toe.
We have to pull the splinter out.
ASHLEY: Okay..we should then forgive them
Trevor > Ultimately, but knowing this makes it easier.
Trevor > Irritation > annoyance > anger > hatred > murder
ASHLEY: Okay I see
Trevor > Are you ready?
And then you can get some sleep
ASHLEY: Okay..am ready
(I issued the same instructions as before, to stand and hold out her hands at waist height, palms up and open to receive, without praying. I waited for ten seconds or so.)
Trevor > What's happening, what can you feel?
ASHLEY: My hands are shaking
I feel this coldness in my body and hands
Trevor > That's a spirit of fear, trying to distract you because we are going to solve a major problem. Coldness is much the same.
Say this out loud, quietly but firmly:
“I'm sorry that I have let my stepdad's hatred become my hatred.
“I know I should not hate him, because love corrects a multitude of sins.
“I give up hatred towards him, and ask You, Jesus, to turn it into love.”
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > What’s happening?
ASHLEY: I feel this warmth at my palm of my hands.. it's like a warm air
Trevor > That’s healing. What’s happening with the pain?
ASHLEY: I feel relieved I don't feel any pain
Trevor > How often do you have pain?
ASHLEY: Every day, I always feel this pain
Trevor > Move your hand in a way that would normally bring on the pain
ASHLEY: Okay. It’s shaking.
Trevor > Now you know how powerful a negative emotion can be to bring in a serious condition that harms us, and you also know how to get rid of it, in yourself and others.
That’s a spirit again, here is the next part
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > Now address him as if he is there with you, in front of you, using his first name because he is not your stepdad anymore:
“(Name), I'm sorry that I have hated you for a long time. That was not right,I should not have done that. I don't want you to be harmed or punished on my behalf. I set you free, I have forgiven you.”
What’s happening?
ASHLEY: I feel like a burden has been removed (from) my shoulder I feel so relieved and at peace
Trevor > Ha ha! That’s what happens
Now when any of the hatred or pain thoughts try to return you must cancel them out immediately by speaking positively over the situation.
"It's no longer a problem"
"He didn't know what he was doing"
And the like, because if you harbour any malice towards him again then the same or worse conditions could possibly come upon you.
ASHLEY: Okay Trevor, I feel really well. Thank you so much.
Trevor > We can't control or stop the thoughts coming to us because they are applied from an external source in such a way that we think they are our own ratiuonal thinking, but they are not.
It's when we hold onto those negative thoughts as if they were true that problems occur.
Two Days Later
Trevor > Did you sleep ok the last 2 nights?
ASHLEY: Yes Trevor the last two nights are the most peaceful nights I have ever had...Thank you so much
Trevor > Thank God so much! What about the pain in your hand?
ASHLEY: I have not felt any sort of pain in my hand am very well it really feels good to be okay
Trevor > Good. How do you feel about your ex-stepdad?
ASHLEY: I forgave him from my heart I hold no grudge against him
Trevor > Fantastic,
Just bear in mind that you might get "attacked” with unpleasant memories, but you just push them back by making excuses for him or whoever or whatever it is.
If something comes up that bothers you talk to me about it and we will have a way - God always has a way - to deal with it.
ASHLEY: Okay I will definitely do that and Thank you so much.
Three Weeks Later - February 10
ASHLEY: I have been feeling pain on my right hand from 18:00 till now
Trevor > What happened with your hand - has it been free until now?
Still hurting? (This was 7 hours later)
ASHLEY: Yes it hurts so much
Trevor > Same as before
ASHLEY: Yes also the same place
Trevor > That's understandable.
What was happening before it started to hurt again?
Were you feeling bad about something?
ASHLEY: It just started hurting all of a sudden.... This week they have been pressuring us at school.
And when I write something down it starts shaking
Trevor > What sort of pressure?
(It was financial pressure, and Ashley had trouble meeting her basic obligations without adding an extra to do with a work experience placement.)
Trevor > I can’t help with the financial problem but we can get your hand repaired.
Are your fingers straight? Did any finger get broken through the beatings, or some other part of your hand?
ASHLEY: Yes they are straight... it's like the back of my hand got broke because of the sharp pain
TREVOR > Did he hit the front or the back of the hand?
ASHLEY: He hit me on the back of my hand
Trevor > How old were you?
ASHLEY: I was 13 years. The last time he hit me I was 17 years old and now (I) am 20
Trevor > And it was pain free until yesterday, from January 18 or thereabouts?
ASHLEY: Yes it was till yesterday
Trevor > You were afraid of him...
And you hated him.
How do you feel about him now that I have brought this up again?
ASHLEY: I already forgave him. I don’t hate him. I released him from that hate
Trevor > You’re amazing
ASHLEY: Thank you :-)
Trevor > Is it very tender or sore in any particular spot if you touch the back of your hand?
ASHLEY: It is tender like he broke the bone of the hand.
You know sometimes when I straight(en) up my hand I feel pain or when am writing…then it goes away for some time, then comes back
At most I feel pain when am stressed.
Trevor > Stress - that’s for you to avoid. But the pain we can deal with - God will move it and heal your hand.
Do you have time to do this now?
ASHLEY: Yess Trevor I have time
Trevor > For the pain part please stand and hold out your hands before God as before, waist height and palms up and open to receive.
ASHLEY: Okay
Trevor > What’s happening on your hands?
ASHLEY: They are shaking
Trevor > Say this as you look at them: “Fear and Torment, get out.”
Then tell me what’s happening after you say that.
ASHLEY: I feel cold in my hands, like a cool breeze circling on the top of my hand
Trevor > That is Holy Spirit, breath of God.
You don’t need to say this, this is for me to say: “Injustice, set Ashley free - release her now.”
What’s happening with the pain?
ASHLEY: Wow, am not feeling it again…am even stretching it up and down and I feel nothing
Trevor > God is so good. When did the pain go?
ASHLEY: When I felt a cool breeze circling on my hands
Trevor > They said to me a little while ago that They were standing by, waiting for me to get on with it!
Now, turn your hand over so the back is uppermost, point at it with your other hand and say, "Bones, joints, tendons, ligaments and muscles, repair, rejuvenate and heal."
ASHLEY: I feel relieved I don't feel any sort of pain again. Thank you Trevor :-)
Trevor > If you encounter people who are struggling with aspects of life other than money you may refer them to me.
Explanation of some concepts and expressions used in this article:
Explanation of some concepts and expressions used in this article:
Depression:
Oppression:
Soul: Our human body is the container for two invisible components, the soul and the spirit. The soul contains our intellect, thoughts, feelings, emotions and character. We can perceive someone else's soul through spending time with them, in person, through what they write and over a phone call. The soul, unlike the body, is eternal.
Spirit: Our human body is the container for two invisible components, the soul and the spirit. The spirit is the part of us which communicates with God, or other lesser spirits. These lesser spirits include God's angels, who are sent to help us, and other spirits who are empowered by our bad actions to cause us harm. The spirit, unlike the body, is eternal. Upon death the soul and spirit leave the body and, in the case of Christians at least, go to be in the presence of God.
Enemy: a general term to describe the lesser spirits who perform evil upon mankind in response to our mistakes. Their leader is known variously as the devil, the accuser, the lawless one and satan. In Ephesians 6:12 the Apostle Paul states clearly that our enemy is not humans ("flesh and blood") but "the rulers, the authorities, the cosmic powers over this present darkness, the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."
Sorry: the technical term which embraces this word is 'contrition' or 'to be contrite' or 'to show contrition'. Psalm 38:18 says, "I confess my iniquity, I will be sorry for my sin." When we say "I'm sorry" we are expressing regret, either for something we have done, or for something done to someone else. Those two words seem to have unimaginable power in releasing people from their past, whether abused or abuser.
Confess: means to say what we have done wrong, either before God and/or preferably, the person against whom we have offended. The confession must be genuine: we cannot apologise for the way our actions made someone else feel. ("I'm sorry I made you angry" doesn't work.) We can and must only apologise for what we did that was wrong and/or caused harm.
Repent: means "to change your mind," in both Old and New Testaments. There are two components to repentance: we acknowledge that what we did was wrong, and declare that we won't do it again. Repent does not mean "to turn from sin" as many claim. We can only do that by changing our mind about what we did and why.
Forgive: the act of dropping the thought of personal penalty or punishment against someone who has offended against us. God's actions in The Garden show forgiveness, not punishment. Adam and Eve did not confess, did not express sorrow for what they had done, and showed no repentance, yet God slew two of the magnificent animals which had just been created (with the shedding of blood there is forgiveness of sins - Hebrews 9:22) and covered them with the skins. Forgiveness is an act of the heart, mind and will. See also Penalties below
Consequences: God did not punish Adam and Eve, but there were consequences for their mistakes. The thorns and thistle of Genesis 3 were there already in Genesis 1, and while Adam and Eve were under control, the thorns and thistles were also under control. Birth pains are a sign of the body resisting God's act of replenishing creation. The expulsion was to prevent them eating from the never-forbidden Tree of Life and living forever as fallen humans, unable to be redeemed. The consequences of victims not releasing their abuse and their abuser and not forgiving themselves as well, are many physical, emotional and spiritual ailments. You can see examples in Problem Solving, here.
Penalties: the Old Testament clearly shows a pattern of compensation for victims of crime. It also clearly calls on victims, especially of sexual abuse, to quickly report the offence committed upon them (see Deuteronomy 22:25-30) and provides for compensation. Forgiveness sets the victim free of trauma, but does not require them to forego compensation or punishment for the offender.
Temptation: the implanting in our mind as seemingly logical or rational thoughts or decisions, negative actions which, if carried out, lead to harmful consequences, always for the tempted person, and also for the person against whom those actions are intended or carried out. Temptation thoughts are presented to us by an external, malevolent spirit force (the 'enemy') and are meant to be resisted so that our soul 'muscles' becomes stronger, in much the same way that resisting the force of gravity (walking, running, jumping, lifting) makes our physical muscles stronger. It is not a sin to be tempted, but if we hold onto that thought or feeling for a second or two rather than rejecting it outright (pushing it back), or if we speak it out, it tends to become implanted in us and then usually leads to a wrong action.
Sin/Making Mistakes: When we yield to temptation to do something wrong the resulting thought or action is called 'sin' in Scripture. It is the same as making a mistake. Sin is only a problem for us - it does not affect or diminish God in any way, contrary to what many people think. The immediate result of sin is that the enemy are given power over us to cause us harm, up to three times worse than the original offense. That harm might be immediate or it might take place much later. While God forgives sin and does not hold it against us (see Isaiah 53) we will be judged according to what we have done wrong in this lifetime in a future event called Judgment Day.
Salvation/Being Saved: This is a unique event which occurs when we come into fellowship and relationship with God. It has nothing to do with our behaviour, or sin and avoiding or excluding it, but everything to do with faith, believing God as much as believing in God. Jesus described it as being 'born again' because God the Father adopts us as His own. Moreover, just like a human parent can never break the genetic connection to their child, so it is with God and getting saved. Jesus said categorically that "whoever comes to me I will never cast out." John 6:37. He is not saying that He will never reject anyone who comes to Him, but that after that event they cannot ever be cast out. Getting saved is as simple as saying, "Jesus, I come to You. I want to do things Your way." He does the rest.
Blood Sacrifice/Cutting: How can different people around the world suddenly get the same idea to cut themselves and draw blood to take their mind off the unresolved trauma that they face? Through temptation, the suggestion of an external, malevolent spiritual force which seems like it (the thought) is internal to us. Why cutting and blood-letting? It's a fake, substitutionary atonement from the enemy, where 'offering' the victim's blood and pain is somehow supposed to 'cover' the offense committed upon them. It doesn't work, of course, and since it has to be repeated over and over again, just creates more problems.
Subsitutionary Atonement: the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross. His blood, was shed once and for all for us, and cleanses us from all sin that we commit. When we forgive those who have sinned against us the blood of the cross flows both ways, and cleanses our soul and spirit of the offense committed upon us. The sacrificial bleeding and death (and resurrection) of Jesus for our sake is a "once for all time" event and never needs to be repeated. Hebrews 10:10. A blood-letting death was necessary because there is an immutable law of the universe (God's Creation) that says, "The soul that sins, it shall die." Ezekiel 18:4b
Judgment Day:
Holding Out Hands:
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Cancelling Out Abuse > Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Spiritual
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts
Ashley Stops Cutting (This page)
Breaking Free from > Resentment & Hatred
Was His Serious UTI Connected?
Breaking Free from Controlling Sexuality
Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships
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