Dealing With Problems
Breaking Free from
Controlling Sexuality
Breaking Free from
Controlling Sexuality
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts
Breaking Free from > Controlling Sexuality
One young man's story (This page)
Breaking Free from > Toxic Relationships
Preface
If you are offended by certain topics concerning sexuality, read no further.
This is not an attempt to denigrate certain sections of society, nor an attempt to impose anyone’s conservative views upon others. Instead, it’s an accurate record of what can happen, with God’s intervention, when someone wants to be free from an addictive practice.
While this conversation was centered around males, the contents can apply equally to females. Names and other identifying details have been changed - the contents of the text messages have not, apart from some punctuation and spelling.
Seth: Hello Trevor, how are you doing?
>: Doing fine, and you?
Seth: Me too... I need some help from you.
>: What do you need?
Seth: I am struggling with something that I have tried to stop but all efforts are in vain
>: God will set you free. Staying free takes effort on your part, like any addiction. I can teach you whatever you need. Go on.
Seth: In my former high school I was introduced to homosexuality by my friends... This has been disturbing my mind: how to stop masturbation... Help me please.
>: I'll ask some questions. Essentially we will be dealing with a spirit of lust, and maybe some other spirits depending on what God shows or tells me needs to be done. Here are the questions:
f1) How did you know to come to me?
o on.
2) Did you masturbate as a group?
3) Did you masturbate each other?
4) Did you engage in any other sexual activity with guys, oral or anal sex?
You don't need to go into details unless you feel it will help.
5) How old were you when you started if you were with others?
6) Is there anything else you want to say or tell me about this?
Seth: 1. You gave me your contact details when we met.
2. We did it as a group.
3. Yes.
4. The only other sexual activity involved in is the normal sex (boy and a girl).
5. I was 16 years old by that time.
>: Before we deal with the problem I will run through some issues to help you protect yourself from recurrences, and give you some tools to help in the future.
Any sexual activity involves our spirit and solo sexual activity such as masturbation or fantasy involves a spirit of lust.
Because sex was designed to be an activity within marriage any sexual activity outside of marriage also involves a spirit of lust because one or both persons involved are taking something from the other that doesn't belong to them.
(Note: Heterosexual lust is just as damaging as homosexual and autosexual lust.)
Next day:
Seth: What do you mean by a spirit of lust?
>: Lust is the desire to have something that doesn't belong to us. The compulsion to masturbate comes from this evil spirit manipulation. Somehow it's able to control us even when we don't want it that way.
Seth: I now get it. I have tried several times to abandon it but it is very difficult for me.
>: One of the final things we will do is remove this spirit and deal with some other spirit things, but we are not there yet.
Seth: What is the first step?
>: This is the first step. This will take a while.
I'm going to tell you how the lust/fantasy/masturbation system works so that you have power over it, rather than the other way around. Lust and other spirits are able to enter in when we do certain things that we shouldn't.
Seth: I will have to commit myself to your instructions.
Next day:
>: It's so easy to fall back, but you can deliver yourself from lust once you know how the system works.
Lust enters in and gets a hold when we look at or think sexually about another person, so we have to stop doing that.
Seth: I guess I am a victim of thinking sexually about girls.
>: We can't follow girls with our eyes, or look at their figures or start imagining any sort of sexual activity, such as kissing or touching/fondling.
Seth: But the problem is that sometimes I get myself doing it.
>: We control our eyes to never look at a girl's chest or bottom, or whatever we find draws us in sexually.
Seth: I am getting you clearly... If I may ask, is ignoring the right thing to do?
>: We have to train our mind so that at the first sight of something attractive we look away and immediately think about something else. Better still, we know where we are likely to be tempted and don't even go there in the first place.
Seth: Yes…
>: Ignore, look away, change immediately any lustful thought because once you start you find you cannot stop until you have sexual release using another person or masturbation.
You can't ignore the sexual feeling once you get an erection, can you, so you have to stop immediately once something starts to happen. But better still, you just don't let anything start.
Seth: Yes, you are right, I can’t stop it.
>: It seems like fun at the time but the shame that comes with it shows it for what it is.
Seth: What about the friends I have?
>: What do you mean?
Seth: I have friends who talk each time about sex and the new websites to watch porn videos.
>: You can't watch porn or talk about sex if you want to be free.
Seth: I will cut off our friendship.
>: It almost looks like there is no fun left anymore but if you set your mind on what God has for you the rewards are immensely better.
Seth: What are these things that God has set for me?
>: Sex is only satisfying in marriage. Outside of marriage the more lust you encourage the less satisfied you are. Ever noticed with porn that after a while you have to find new thrills because the old ones no longer do it?
Seth: I have noticed that.
Lust can be identified by the irresistible desire to control, manipulate or invade one’s own, or someone else’s ‘personal space’ under the guise of bringing pleasure or a new experience to them.
Once the activity itself or the pleasure that we receive through initiating, continuing or prolonging it becomes the over-riding concern, rather than the consideration that the other person is truly gaining something lastingly beneficial from the activity, we have moved into lust.
The proof for lust is the ongoing, irresistible desire to repeat the activity, often against our better judgment or desire. If it is against the desire of the other person at any time, it is lust.
Lust Is a spirit that can control things other than sexual actvity, such as over-eating, or compulsive shopping.)
Seth: What are these things that God has set for me?
>: You will have to ask Him, He's waiting for you to ask.
Seth: The problem is that I do not know how to pray well.
>: You talk to Him just like you talk to me. Listening and believing what He says is often the challenge. I only started to do it properly maybe18 months ago.
Seth: How do I get to hear what He says?
>: Here's the first thing - you need to repent before Him for what you have done. It doesn't affect Him, it only affects us, but by confessing as well we let our souls/emotions/will be cleansed by Him.
Repent means to change your mind about something you have been doing wrong, confess means to say what it is to someone. You have done both to me so you need to make sure you specifically and deliberately say the same to God Himself.
Seth: That's true, it affects me so much.
>: So you would start by saying something like this, in your own words of course:
“I’m sorry that I got involved in group masturbation, that was very wrong. I’m sorry that I have continued to masturbate by myself, I don’t want to keep doing that, either. I know now that the problem really starts by thinking sexually about girls - I’m sorry that I have been doing that, too. Thank you Jesus for setting me free.”
And thank Him for forgiving you - we actually don’t need to ask God to forgive us.
Seth: I’m getting to learn new things in my life.
>: I’m impressed by your willingness to change important parts of your life.
Go over what I have said. Think about what it means for you. Ask God to show you changes you will need to make, and know that Holy Spirit will empower you to change your life around.
Seth: Will reading the Bible help?
>: Always
Seth: How do I read the Bible?
>: Have you ever been baptised in Holy Spirit with speaking in tongues?
Seth: No I haven’t.
>: Ask Jesus to do it for you. It's the only thing repeated in the four Gospels and the book of Acts, both in the first and second chapters. I’ll help you, of course.
The book of Acts is all about what happens when Jesus baptises us with Holy Spirit and with fire.
Seth: I'll start reading the Bible and I will start with the book of Acts.
Thank you very much for your assistance... I hope by the help of the Almighty Father this will not take long.
Seth: There was something you taught us about prayer - would you mind teaching me again?
>: Sure. God talks with a still, small voice. Tell me what you hear tomorrow.
Next day:
Seth: Everything was silent, I could not get anything. So can you repeat, I beg of you, the lesson you gave us back in school about prayer?
>: OK, we’ll work on that. Thanks for telling me.
Seth: But I’ll continue praying.
>: Good. Stop and listen and wait. Exodus 33:11 tells us that God spoke with Moses like a man speaks with his friend, face to face. That means that we don’t shout, or do all the talking. We say something and then wait for a response.
If God is not talking to you about what you are talking about, ask Him to talk to you about something that He wants to talk to you about. Invite Him in in that way.
Seth: I’ll do as you say since I want to be assisted.
>: I know, it will come. Read Psalm 23.
One day later:
>: Have you been practising not looking at girls and not thinking about sex?
Seth: I found it automatic... Even though I still get some challenges, but there is a big impact in the practise...
>: Yes, I can tell you are getting there! I believe you are hearing from God...
Seth: I got a small voice asking me to repent of my sins and for my eyes to be opened.
>: Have you also heard something about purity?
Seth: About purity... No, I did not, I am still waiting to hear from Him.
>: Didn't you say you heard a small voice? Isn't that hearing from God?
Seth: Yeah, I heard a small voice and my heartbeats, too, were very high because I was getting afraid.
>: Afraid of what?
Seth: Being a sinner, God can still talk to me.
>: Have you given your life to Jesus?
Seth: Yes, but I backslid.
>: That doesn't make you a "sinner" again.
Seth: I was just wondering.
>: You are still a son of God. We walk in forgiveness, God doesn't unadopt us every time we do the wrong thing. We confess to bring our own personal healing but we always stay as members of His family because He adopts us as His own, permanently.
It's a permanent relationship, like the blood relationship between you and your parents, because of the blood of Jesus.
The following day:
>: How is the thought and eye avoidance going - you are still practising well?
Seth: Yes it is going on very well…
>: Any questions?
Seth: No, I am satisfied.
>: We still need to do the "removing spirits" part which I will do the first time and tell you how to do it for yourself as you need to in future.
Seth: How should I do it?
>: We’ll do it together
Seth: Right, no problem.
>: I’m thinking that we might wait some days or perhaps another week. The first week or so of not masturbating is usually easy, but then the compulsion part (through the spirit of lust) starts to take over.
Seth: So we will do this in a week’s time.
>: Maybe we wait until you feel you are being drawn that way, then act. If the urge comes on strongly you just say "Trevor, I really need help right now," or something like that so I know.
But the real cure is to never let a lustful thought about sex or a girl to stay in your mind. A few seconds is sometimes enough for the pattern that leads to masturbation to start.
Seth: That means the urge will still come?
>: It might still come, but once we deal with the spirit of lust you are in total control. If you ever have a lapse then you can remove lust yourself, because every time we masturbate we involve and invite in a spirit of lust.
Seth: I don't want to go back to that kind of life. I want to be free again.
>: Our spirits get involved when we engage in any sexual act. That is how a married couple is meant to become "one flesh", through sex. We will break the links that have joined you to anyone else, and them to you, and return to each person the parts that belong to them. It is an amazing thing.
Seth: Yes, it is an amazing thing. Thank you very much.
>: Are you happy to proceed like this and wait a little while to finish everything? That also lets us deal with anything else that comes up in the one session, which we will do by phone.
Seth: I am really happy and enjoying it and I never want to go back.
>: You will probably find that the first thirty days are the hardest. Then again at three and six months, but by controlling your thoughts and your eyes you will stay free.
Seth: I downloaded a bible app in my phone so I read it each time I feel tempted and it's really helping
>: Good, great idea!
The next day:
Seth: I think I am heading somewhere towards change.
>: If you don't normally read your Bible then that's a big change.
Seth: It's the best thing ever... I can't imagine.
>: God is really moving in you, you are hearing from Him, which is why you are reading what He has to say.
Seth: I want to have this gift of preaching in me. How do I go about it?
>: Read and read and study the Word and move around me when I am there.
Seth: Perfect... I will study the Bible so hard and ask God to help me and guide me.
>: And ask me. I like teaching. Jesus asked us to make disciples, not win converts. Our task is to teach people to follow Jesus and to let Him fill their lives with Him.
Seth: And I want to be used to teach other fellow christians.
>: That’s God at work in you!
Seth: Thank you so much for the encouragements.
>: Keep in touch. I enjoy chatting with you, plus we will do some deliverance for you to make sure everything is ok, and so you have some experience to do the same for others.
No manifestations, nothing like you have seen in church there. But very powerful.
Seth: I did not get the second text very clearly.
>: I thought you might have seen deliverances in church there, no problems.
Seth: I have seen them happen.
>: We do it differently.
Seth: Here some use force, some do it with the help of evil spirits.
>: So I’ve seen.
One week later:
Seth: Just saying hi. I am experiencing good things in my life.
>: Good. If you find you are having trouble resisting temptation then we will do the second part, where we deal with the spirits which are behind that.
Seth: But sometimes I get it hard.
>: It takes practice, the first month is probably the hardest. Then you start to feel good because, whatever happens, you are in control.
Seth: Yes I feel as if I want to go back... It's like a battle that I am in.
>: You are in a battle and you will win because you are determined.
A few days later:
>: How are you doing at the moment? I can make time available today.
Seth: Am not that ok.. For the last two days I have been getting the same feeling and it's so much stronger than before.
>: Address the spirit behind the problem and say, "Lust, you have no power over me! I reject you and every thought connected to you. Leave me now and go to the place that Jesus sends you." As you finish saying that, open your mouth and breathe out strongly, one big breath.
Let me know what happens.
Seth: I felt as if something was coming out of me.
>: “Holy Spirit, in place of lust we ask you to fill Tim with genuine, Jesus type love, for himself and others.” Just take in a deep breath through your nose as you say that.
Seth: This feeling mostly comes when I am alone in the house and it becomes very strong that I cannot withhold it.
I sometimes try to go and take some walk but no change seen... When I am seated next to a lady, too, it becomes worse than ever. Most of the time I get myself trying to seduce the lady with the intention to ask her for a night.
>: This will change now.
Seth: When I read the bible I got dizzy and went off to sleep.
>: Ready to deal with this stuff now?
Seth: Ready
>: It's a bit like climbing a mountain or running a race.
Seth: Actually I am ready to fight it.
>: We can get tired with all the effort but we push through to the end. We don't give up just because we are exhausted.
When our thoughts take over and create scenarios or fantasies of sex, that is all under our control. We have to divert or shift our thoughts to something else.
Seth: I have tried to divert my thoughts.
>: It takes serious practice to change our thought patterns, like learning to play the piano or kick a football.
We will also remove the spirit behind it - its name is Fantasy Lust.
Seth: Is fantasy lust responsible for all that is happening?
>: Much of it, because what happens starts in our thoughts.
Seth: I now know my weakness.
>: With any of these spirits you might have to repeat the process and remove them again. You can do it yourself when you make a mistake.
Another thing I found as I imagined myself seducing a woman was to speak about Jesus to her. She would quickly go away in my mind, which shows once again that it is a spirit at work.
So create stories in your mind about telling the fantasy figures you see all about Jesus and his power in and for you.
Ready?
Seth: Yes I am ready, very much ready for it.
>: Same as before, speak out loud the things I say in a moment about removing the spirit and then breathe out a big breath.
“Fantasy Lust and Vain Imaginations, you have no power over me. I reject you and all your works and command you to leave me now and go to the place that Jesus sends you.”
Then breathe out strongly through your mouth.
Seth: Amen
>: "Holy Spirit, in place of Fantasy Lust and Vain Imaginations I ask you to fill me with Godly and good thoughts about myself and others. Let me imagine speaking to others about the good things you are doing in me, and let me see myself leading others in paths of righteousness."
Take a big breath in through your nose after you ask Holy Spirit - something will happen with that big breath in.
What’s happening?
Seth: Nothing happened.
>: Do it again.
You'll feel a change in your thoughts, you'll know something has happened, like a bath or a washing or dry cleaning.
Seth: I now feel it.
>: Good.
Seth: My mind is having new thoughts.
Should I be doing this each time I get this feeling?
>: Ask Jesus. By controlling your thoughts on the ways I have suggested you will find you won't get the really strong lustful thoughts.
If you make a mistake you just start again from wherever you need to.
Have a new mind created in you, right now.
Are there any other problems that you can think of?
Seth: No other for now.
>: We will deal with Distraction now.
Seth: Ready for it.
>: “Distraction, you don't belong in Seth; he has no part in you and you have no part in him. I call you forward bound in chains and covered with the blood of Jesus and the anointing oil of Holy Spirit. I break your power over his life now and command you to go to the place that Jesus sends you. Go now.”
Just breathe out strongly through your mouth after you say that.
Seth: Ok
>: Now say this: “Holy Spirit, in place of distraction fill me with concentration for Your word to be revealed and explained to me. Let me see new things, reveal the ways of God to me.”
Then breathe in big through your nose, not fast, take your time. Make that prayer personal.
Seth: I feel I am gaining more strength in me.
More than I had before.
>: Good. You get the idea now, you can do this same sort of thing whenever you need to.
Keep coming back to me whenever you need to.
One week later:
Seth: Hello Trevor
>: How are you?
Seth: I’m doing great.
>: Good to hear. Are you more in control of the temptations now?
Seth: Each time I get tempted I say ‘I am a victor’ and I get myself getting rid of the temptation.
>: Praise God! I am glad you are thinking it through for yourself.
Seth: Amen.... May the Almighty God see me through.
>: You have Holy Spirit to bear you up in moments of weakness. Do you speak in tongues?
Seth: Not yet, but I do see visions sometimes, in form of dreams which come to happen in later days.
>: Ask Jesus to baptise you with Holy Spirit and fire - tongues come with that.
Seth: I will and i know by time I will be speaking in tongues.
>: In 1 Corinthians 14:2 Paul says: “He who speaks in an unknown tongue speaks not to men but to God.”
Seth: That encourages me so much.
>: Stick with it, you could be my ambassador for men's purity. :-)
Seth: That will be a great idea.
>: Keep going, then.
Seth: I will keep the fire burning
>: Good man.
Seth: I want to thank you so much for the great advice you have given to me and I have seen much change in me.
>: It's my pleasure to help, and God's wisdom makes it work even better. Are you still reading Scripture?
Seth: I do.
>: Make it work, it's meant to be life for us. Keep telling God that you will do anything for Him, and go anywhere for Him, at any time. That's what I did three years ago. He wants to do big things with you
Seth: Wow.
The following week:
Seth: Actually...this book of Acts chapter two has taught me a lot on the topic speaking in tongues.
>: t looks as if the many different languages understood in Acts 2 was a one-off event to catch the attention of the people gathered in Jerusalem from all over the then known world, and that special outpouring hasn't been repeated in that same way since.
Seth: The only difference with my people is they use this to benefit materially from christians. I don’t want to be like them.
>: Read 1Corinthians14 and read the positive benefits of speaking in tongues as an individual.
Seth: I will do so in a day’s time.
Three weeks later:
Seth: Morning…
>: How are you doing?
Seth: A bit confused.
>: Where, why? Tell me about it.
Seth: I get some terrifying dreams which remind me of the past.
>: What is the terrifying part, can you tell me?
Seth: I get to see myself doing the same thing I used to do.
>: OK, we’ll fix that.
>: In the meantime I'll do what I need to. You'll feel some things happening and might not understand until you read through this.
[At this stage I had no response from Seth. Internet communication in his part of the world can be very patchy at times, so I went ahead, knowing that when he got to open Messenger again he would have enough information to proceed on his own. After all, he had done that successfully in the past.]
>: These are just dirty little spirits that are affecting you, and we have power and authority over them.
>: They enter our systems, they enter our world through our eyes, mostly, when we let our eyes stop too long on an attractive woman or girl, even from behind or from a distance. Because then we start to think about it, or think about them, or doing stuff with them or doing stuff with ourselves.
>: (As you go through and read this let me know what you think, let me know what you feel. Some of what I am writing will have a big impact on you.)
>: Just say this (and any time in the future you feel the temptation or pressure) "Lust, you have no part in me and I have no part in you. Your power over me is broken in the blood of Jesus. Get out and go to the place that Jesus sends you." Then breathe out strongly, blow out through your mouth.
>: The other one, the other spirit, is Fantasy Lust, that's the one that helps us fantasize and create stories about sex and girls (or guys), so name it and do the same thing for it.
>: Then ask God if there are any others and trust what you hear from Holy Spirit. Do the same with each name you hear.
>: You now have great authority over spirits because of your attitude and your stance and your faithfulness. You can do this for others, for your friends and even strangers and set them free from lust and masturbation. But let's finish you first.
Seth: Actually that prayer was very powerful to me, I felt it deep in me when I was saying it.
>: Aha, God is so good! You spoke it over fantasy lust as well? That's what we imagine... In our thinking. We name these things and remove them.
Seth: How I wish this goes forever.
>: How do you mean? That they don't come back?
Seth: These dreams are really disturbing me.
>: They will go. We eat to live and then we expel the waste, every day. Sometimes we take in wrong things with our eyes or other thoughts, so at least God has given us a way to expel the waste from that as well.
Remember, anytime you need a touch from God, just hold out your hands in front of you, palms up to receive. Wait for Him to touch you, you will feel warmth or coolness or tingles or electricity.
And then He will do something else special according to your needs or request.
Seth: I see myself having a lot of strength to preach, sing and minister.
>: That’s great! If we have a problem God always has a solution. That’s 1 Corinthians 10:13.
Seth: Wow... you have challenged me.
>: He provides the way out, and the teaching how to apply it to the situation before we ever get into it.
(Seth and I were communicating for nearly two years. Here is one of our later conversations.)
>: Hi Seth, how are you, doing well?
Seth: Hi there…I am doing great.
>: That's good. Have you gone back over some of our conversations from last year, or was it the year before, now?
Seth: Yeah I did.
>: What has God been doing in you, then, that makes for such a good report?
Seth: Mmmm... I feel totally relieved from my burdens
>: Good, what else?
Seth: Ok I get myself into the word of God more often and I guess I understand the meaning of being wise now.
>: Keep working on it. It's a destination that we don't really get to, we keep on travelling towards it. Seth, be on fire for Jesus.
Seth: I will be, Trevor.
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts
Breaking Free from > Controlling Sexuality
One young man's story - (This page)
Breaking Free from > Toxic Relationships