Dealing With Problems
Breaking Free from
Self-harm & Suicidal Thoughts
Dealing With Problems
Breaking Free from
Self-harm & Suicidal Thoughts
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Cancelling Out Abuse > Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Spiritual
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts (This page)
Breaking Free from > Controlling Sexuality
Breaking Free from > Toxic Relationships
While suicidal and self-harm thoughts differ in various areas, they both are the product of allowing the enemy to manipulate our thought processes because we have not dealt correctly with trauma of some sort from the past. There is a solution!
This section is in three parts:
10.1 The origin, nature and manipulation of suicidal or self-harm thoughts and intentions;
10.2 Cancelling out past suicidal and self-harm thoughts;
10.3 Keeping suicidal and self-harm thoughts at bay in future.
Note: Thinking or saying things like "I want to die," or "I don't want to live anymore" or "I just can't take this anymore" and the like can all be dealt with in this same way.
God has no part in death.
1 Corinthians 15:26 states categorically: "The last enemy to be overcome is death." An enemy does not come from God. Further information with supporting scriptures can be found here.
The enemy are totally responsible for death.
In John 10:10 Jesus put it this way:
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come to bring life, and bring it more abundantly." The 'thief' He mentions is just a collective term for the enemy and their leader.
In Ephesians 6:12 Paul describes the enemy as not "flesh and blood, but...the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly realm." While it is not fashionable in many areas today to talk about evil spirits, ignoring their reality does not make them go away, but we will show techniques in the next section that will make them do just that.
At some point it becomes our decision to choose life.
"God has no pleasure in the death of him who dies, says the Lord God. Therefore turn and live." Ezekiel 18:32
"I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses; therefore choose life, that you...may live." Deuteronomy 18:19. Curses, like death, come from the enemy, not God.
Premature death is the enemy's trick to keep God's blessing from reaching us.
Jesus and Paul both taught that what we do in this life on Earth produces a variable reward, called our Inheritance, which is paid out in Eternity, on Judgment Day. (You can read about God's Reward System here.) This is in addition to and on top of Salvation, which is paid out while we are alive, on Earth.
While ever we draw breath we can take up the opportunities God regularly provides each one of us to boost that reward by blessing others. One life, one chance, for all Eternity (as far as we know).
In yielding to suicidal thoughts, words or actions we are offering our life to the enemy.
That's the exact opposite of offering our life to Jesus. While it won't affect our salvation, it will affect that eternal reward paid out to us on Judgment Day.
What's more, offering our life to the enemy in that way, since it is totally wrong before God, gives the enemy great power over us to do us harm and allows them to bring more torment into our lives. This can be through depression, oppression, self-harm, destructive and addictive behaviour, evil manipulation, thefts and loss, confusion, assaults, sickness, accidents, seemingly continual runs of 'bad' circumstances and any evil action that you can think of.
Note: It is easy to think that if the enemy are responsible for death, then 'offering ourselves to them via death' will solve our problems. However, their 'system' does not work like that.
a. The enemy are fighting us, they are not fighting God;
b. The enemy hate us and will do anything possible up to the limits set by God to harm us;
c. If we follow their temptation, any temptation, that does not give us their approval - instead, it gives them further opportunity to harm us because we are not following God.
d. Following any temptation of the enemy reduces our reward on Judgment Day. (All and any temptation comes from the enemy, not from God.)
We will show how to undo this shortly - see 10.2.
If you have never offered your life to Jesus, we will show you how to do that, too.
Whatever the problem, God has a solution.
When we are going through the circumstances we tend to think:
"No one else has had to deal with what I have to deal with,"
or
"My situation is different - no one else will understand."
1 Corinthians 10:13 expresses the truth in this context very well:
"For no temptation (no trial) (the Greek word used here, 'peirazo', can mean either) has overtaken you that is not common to man."
In other words, other people, nearby or elsewhere, have suffered in the same way as we have or are suffering. Our situation is not unique, although some of the circumstances possibly will be.
Three things can keep us from sharing carefully about our problem: fear, shame, and pride. These are not Godly attributes, but their origin and reinforcement come from the enemy alone. A fourth, despair, is designed to keep us locked into a state where all hope for change or improvement is gone.
1 Corinthians 10:14 continues:
But God is faithful not to let you be tempted (or tested) beyond your ability, but with the temptation (or test, neither of which God sends, according to James 1:13-14) He will also provide the way out, that you may bear up under it patiently." (AMP, but note that words not in italics have been added by me for clarification.)
Let's break this verse down:
e) God sets limits on what the enemy can do to harm us, whether by temptation or by testing/trial;
f) God provides a way out or through the circumstances.
Temptation: a thought with evil intent that is applied to our mind/thoughts from a malicious, external, spirit source in such a way as to make it seem like a logical, natural thought that originated in our own consciousness, reason or wisdom. It is not, and it did not.
Test/Trial: the manipulation of negative circumstances around us and affecting us in such a way that they seem out of or beyond our control. To be fair, they are generally a result of things we have done that we should not have done, or things done to us to which we can respond differently to the way we have responded so far.
This is a test or trial designed by the enemy to destroy us, and sometimes they are successful in that when the person under trial gives up. However, since "we are assured that all things work together for good to those that love God" (Romans 8:28) we also know that God has a way through the situation. At the time that is often not easy to see, (actually, it can seem to be impossible to see when under pressure) but sections 10.2 and 10.3 show how to change circumstances around.
Under pressure, the immense pressures that come to anyone under sickness, pain, trauma or whatever circumstance that seems too hard to bear, many of us ignore the truths of God's Word and give up too soon. Others are completely ignorant of God's provisions under these circumstances.
Let Hebrews 4:16, from The Amplified Bible, be our guide to persevere no matter what:
"Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]. (Bold type added for emphasis.)
There is a progression which leads to self-harm and suicidal thoughts
They become our friends; the thoughts of dismay, disappointment, anger, rage, hatred, payback, revenge, murder. Sometimes suicide; what's left for us, and maybe they'll see how big a mistake they made.
Even though they are bad friends; we know it, some friends just aren't good for us, but bad friends are better than no friends, aren't they, always? And so we find it easier, much easier to hold on to the thoughts and feelings that are killing us. Maybe slowly, but they're still killing us. Maybe just robbing us at the moment, but they want to kill us...
They look like friends, sound like friends, but they're really intruders. They've come to steal from us, to rob us of our joy, our peace, our contentment, our sense of well being. They say it's not them, it's 'he' or 'she' or 'they', the ones who harmed us in the first place who are the troublemakers. it's hard to know the truth in the end, because it feels so right when I get angry about he, or she, or they, or even me: whoever it is who caused the problem in the first place.
On rare occasions we might even wake up or suddenly realise that the negative thoughts, the oppressive thoughts, have lifted for a time. Maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour, maybe even a day or two, but they always come back. They know they'll find a good home in us. We might try to feebly push them out, but they always win in the end.
If only. If only I hadn't done it (whatever "it" is). If only that hadn't happened (whatever "that" is). Why? Why me, why not someone else? If only I could go back and change things: change what I did, change what I said, change where I went, trusted my instincts to get away. I'd do anything to go back and change it.
Look. Look at all the mistakes I've made, all the times I've been wrong. Why can't I get it right, occasionally, once, even? Life just isn't worth living anymore.
Why has God let things get so bad for me; why hasn't God intervened by now? Why is God's help always too little, too late?
God is not affected by what we think, say, or do
There is at least one popular Christian song which includes the line:
"There's a God who weeps..." when actually the Scriptures show Him as the Son of God who wept on one occasion while He was in human form on Earth. (John 11:35). Jesus is not weeping now.
Even just after His resurrection He wasn't the same as before - while He still had a body with flesh and bones (Luke 24:39) and could eat food (verse 43), this new body allowed Him to pass through physical barriers like walls and doors as if they were not there (verse 36-37).
There are two popular Christian worship songs which address this line to God:
"Break my heart with what breaks Yours..." which has no Scriptural basis. If we could "break the heart of God" through what we said or did or did not do, there are enough people in the world doing the wrong thing that God's heart would be forever broken. If what we did could "please" or "displease" God, would there ever be a time when the Godhead would be able to feel normal? If we were able to manipulate God in that way They would no longer be God!
The problem lies in trying to apply human characteristics to God when the Scriptures clearly say that "God is not a man" (Numbers 23:19). When Adam and Eve were making their big mistake, was God in Heaven shielding Their eyes, because another popular but erroneous teaching is that "God is a holy God and cannot look on sin?" Instead, the correct teaching is that God has no part in sin.
We are affected by what we think, say and do
God is not affected by what we think say, or do. Their only connection to us in this, Their only concern is the effect that what we think, say or do will have on us and others. Their concern is to protect us and others for our sake, not Theirs!
We are not working for God - They are working for us, to get us over the line, to maximise our reward on Judgment Day which is based on the good and the bad that we have done in our lifetime. This is first explained by Jesus in the Parable of The Talents , and then by Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:8-15
To be continued...
Solutions > Examples and Methods for Breaking Free
Cancelling Out Abuse > Emotional, Physical, Sexual, Spiritual
Breaking Free from > Anger, Fury, Rage
Breaking Free from > Suicidal & Self-harm Thoughts (This page)
Breaking Free from > Controlling Sexuality
Breaking Free from > Toxic Relationships